Friday, June 9, 2023

Why does it hurt so much?

It was raining one evening when I was on the way out of the office. That was some time ago. These days I don't have an office to go to. I now write full-time from home. I do miss the office environment though.

However, everyone moves on at some stage in their lives. So I have moved on too.

Right now, it isn't about when it rained that evening and I was on the way out of the office. Well, it is about the rain, period.

Jacky loved the rain. She told me that a year before she died. She saw me looking out the car window and asked if I felt the same way about the rain. I said yes. We were going out for a meal together.

That day I realized not the rain but the storms of our lives. 

Jacky had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness and I knew that she was worried she might die. She had a son to care for and he was far too young to lose a mother. But in the end, she did die and he did lose a beautiful mom.

Our lives have always been filled with tragedies. I recently told a friend that.  And most of the time they left us deeply impaired. Since it wasn't the rain I wanted to talk about, I would talk about pain instead and why it hurts so much.

Here is one reason why it hurts so much:

Love

  1. Love can hurt when not reciprocated or when a relationship ends. There are many who have turned away from love due to their bad experiences with their partners. Countless relationships are based on pretenses. Finding someone authentic to love has become a challenge in these pretentious times. Everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too. Love comes with extra conditions here. In some, you must have the money, looks, and status to find love. Love has become as difficult as prospecting for gold. Where is love? Okay, wait a bit - let me look over there. And then you find, in all that busyness of digging, you have lost a lifetime searching for that golden love.
  2. Look at all the dating websites. They all have conditions stipulated by those who put up the profiles there. No one is sure anymore if it is the love they want or a perfect partner to keep all their dreams intact. Whatever they are, it is a risk you have to take.
  3. I wish for the old days when love made you feel young. vibrant and beautiful. Where did those days go? Now, love is timed to perfection. Then, there were the careless encounters when all you felt were its freeing moments. Those carefree days, when all it took was a smile to get your heart racing or see kindness in a reflection, are hard to find anymore. These times are for the benevolently fit.

That's why it hurts so much. Because you are losing out on genuine love. I write love stories to portray love as something pure. To bring back the magic of naivety in love. Where a girl meets a boy and her heart is opened like the petals of a flower, fragile and yet strong enough to withstand the passion of love. That's how I relive the days of old - shobana

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